Togetherness: the beauty of it

On May 20th at 8:55pm my younger brother Tim, an officer in the United States Air Force, stepped off of his flight that carried him home from the war in Iraq. We awaited his arrival as we peered anxiously down the long hallway filled with passengers scrambling through and around each other.

There was a group of us made up of around 25 or so waiting for him. Our children waited with sagging daisies in their hands for their Uncle Tim. My Mom paced the floor, my Dad kept his grandchildren entertained, and I

tried to fathom the return of one of my brothers who was smack dab in the middle of this war.

I cannot even begin to describe the waves of relief, emotion and happiness that swept over us so silently and powerfully as he appeared in the distance coming toward us. When he was within shouting distance we began to do the "wahoos" and clap. It was especially impacting when he was finally within 20 feet of us and without instruction we parted like the Red Sea for our Mom to greet her "little boy" who had returned from a far away place. And my how she wept as her 6 foot 6 inch 225 pound giant son wrapped his gargantuan arms around her 5 foot 4 inch frame. That was a moment I'll never forget. We all began to cry at the sounds of my mom's weeping as she grasped her son like he was a 5 year old who fell off of his bike.

There is so much to be said in these moments. My family is close but not always. That is not a cynicism on my part or even a criticism. It's just how it is. However, that's where I refuse to leave it. To leave it that place called "that's just how it is" is the place I have despised and always will. The place called "that's just how it is" is the place that breeds loneliness and dispute.

I remember when I had left home for the third time. Back when I was like 19 years old and constantly at war with my Dad about everything, I could not exist in the same environment as him. We just weren't close and were never getting along. I wasn't home for five days this time and we had gotten into a pretty big fight that made me start packing up again to leave. My mom came into my bedroom and knew I was frustrated and hurt. I recall saying to her that all I want is "to know my Dad". My mom in turn said, "I'm sorry but you never will." In other words, "get over it" and move on.

Now she wasn't saying it to hurt me more but to just lay it out that my Dad just doesn't know how to do that part of fatherhood so instead of me wallowing around in all that hurt she wanted me to just push on and understand the reality of the situation.

I could not blot that out and embrace the "that's just how it is" place. It gnawed at my heart all the time. I wanted so desperately to know my Dad but even more for my family to know each other more and more. I just wanted EVERYONE to get along and not in some Utopian version but just the real life version.

There have been many things that have brough

t us together and many things that have caused hurtful divides. It's always the moments that bring us together that outweigh the moments that divide. They are the moments that bring healing and unity. This doesn't mean we ignore the divisive parts but that we learn from them as well as the moments that unite us.

My sister had put together a Welcome Home party, for my brother Tim's return from Iraq set for May 25th. Planning the party began with the obvious: finding a place to do it, setting the date, etc. Since my family is 50% Irish my sister decided to have the party at an authentic Irish Pub. She began asking for everyone to chip in and help out. It was a no brainer because we're family. Everyone began getting their personal schedules worked out and made every effort to set aside their own plans for the celebration to come. Each of us put in the things we new how to do well for the sake of one.

Now, my family is huge. I have 6 brothers and 6 sisters. When we get together with all of our kids there is well over 50 of us in one place. So planning stuff out is never easy and never trouble-free. In order for our family gatherings to be really good and a gift in itself, it requires sacrifice from each of us.

Sacrifice doesn't mean we have to be miserable or do the work that makes us just kind of tolerate it. Sacrifice can be a joyful part of life if we realize how so very much it can be a blessing to God and each other.

Since the party was at an Irish Pub what better way to bless my brother and family and friends than to bring some live music to the party. It's what the Irish do. So I began to write music that revolved around my family and our friends and then one particular song that was all about my brother Tim and that song is called "Our Superman" because Tim has been a fan of Superman since he was 2 years old.

When the moment came at the pub to perform the music I was so nervous. The songs were a gift from not only me but from my brothers and sisters who wrote down their fondest memories of Tim and then gave them to me so that I could transfer them into a song that would then go be for him and for us too. I was nervous because I knew that in the constructing of the song that in my family there are hurts that aren't healed yet but I also know that there is a lot of love too and my hope was to be able to repres

ent my whole family and not just myself.

The pub was pretty full and my family gathered somewhat close to the stage as I began to sing the first of 3 songs that I wrote for the night. The first song was about family and what it means to be the love in it. The second song was based around our memories of Tim. The third song was the gem and the one that truly represented what Tim meant to us all. I poured my heart, guts and soul into this one in particular because it was all just for him.

Here's what was really cool. My tough soldier of a brother sat about 2o feet away for the first two songs. Then when I began the third song he moved up to the edge of the stage by himself and we looked at each other eye to eye when I sang a line to him about this night being all about him. Tears began to fall from his eyes, mine and everyone else joined in the beauty of sharing tears of joy and love for one another. That song was the best and I made it purposefully long so that he'd get the point of how much he means to us all. The song is like 11 minutes long and is built musically on my emotions for him and lyrically on our deep love to him.

When I was done, my

brother came up on the stage before I could even get my guitar off and just hugged me so good. I will never ever forget that moment. How my family came together that night and loved on each other and laughed with each other was overwhelmingly beautiful. It was as if every hurt was just thrown out and discarded in an instant and who and what we really are to each other took shape in the form and design that God had intended in the first place.

Since that night just 6 weeks ago my family has been talking more and hanging out more because we've been reminded of the beauty of togetherness and how it defines us in the way of love and it's power to lift us up above the hurt of this world and even the hurt that we inflict.

Each and every church community whether Lutheran, Catholic or non-denominational is called to be just like this. To see the beauty of togetherness in the way it is intended to be. Just like my whole family set aside our agendas for just one we are to do the same as a church body for Jesus. To give ourselves fully in sacrificial ways that cause joy and hope.

We gathered in a bar with lots of different folks together and sang songs and I even had a song that everyone sang that was all about giving thanks to God for all we have. A bar full of people getting hammered(not everyone but almost everyone) singing thanks to God. Respecting and loving one another. Holding on to that moment as dear and precious is something that I hope and pray for Christians to do more and more in their communities of prayerful worship and love.

Gathering on Sunday as a church body to worship God and hear His word can so easily become a duty and/or a burden. If we see it as a duty and/or burden then that is all it ever will be. If we hold it as precious and yearn for it to be sacred then it will bring healing to us all and it will be a continuous gift to our heavenly Father.

The scriptures talk of the beauty of the Lord. We are His body and the body partakes in His beauty when it comes together.

The cure to fearing each other is in the surrendering to beauty of togetherness.

Togetherness: the fear of it

My day is beginning with the sounds of the Dropkick Murphys, Common and The Evens as I am pondering the church and how we actually spend time together.

I wonder with such deep frustration as to why it is so difficult for the church to be the church. In all my years of pastoring and leading it seems to always be the same obstacles that cause us Christians to embrace a stagnant stage in which we stay away from the church to do our own thing. Now don't get upset just bare with me because I am not some perfect example to follow but I do know that every time I kill my agenda - God shows up and I am wrecked and fixed up again and able to continue in the work He has laid out for me that day. 

What is this all about? What does it mean to follow Jesus? Why don't people embrace studying the Bible more as a community instead of when it's convenient and comfortable? Why do we have to criticize each others perspectives before we can worship the one true God? Why do we busy ourselves with so much stuff that has nothing to do with being Kingdom-Dwellers in a world that has so very much lost its way? 

Togetherness has become a fear to the Christian. There are these moments that I have when I get sick of Sundays. I love my brothers and sisters in Christ that I worship with but I get sick of the routines we do in terms of "going to Church". The answer is not to eliminate gatherings of the Church because that is not Biblical. The answer lies in the uncomfortable willingness to strive for what is good, right and true and in the purpose of our Holy God. 

Togetherness is God's idea for the church which does not include our own individual belief systems of what we think God is really saying. Now wonder why we fear it because it involves us eliminating our plans to embrace the ONE plan - His.

Togetherness annihilates individualism in the Kingdom. It is another design that God has ordained to grow us up in His likeness. I wonder with all of the busyness in our lives where it is that we so often forget that in order for us to be together with God it cost Him dearly.

We know it is not easy to live for what is good, right and true but yet we are called into that kind of lifestyle. What is good, right and true? There is only one that is good, right and true - Jesus. That is it. Jesus is always the answer no matter how freakin' cheesey we think that is or how much we cringe at that answer and if we do cringe as Christ-Followers then we are so very much dwelling in the unintended place that will continue to allow a subtle and slow darkness to constrict the ability for us to truly love. Jesus is what it is always about and what it always will be about. To live for what is good, right and true is the life intended and the purest form of it approaches us in the life to come. 

Part of the struggle to maintain togetherness in our society revolves around Christians just wanting to be cool and relevant instead of loving and realistic. Do you grow tired of hearing people say that we need to speak of our faith in a way that it is "relevant". There's even a magazine out by that title. Or is that not cool to say that? It's just another "cool" thing to purchase and throw on the coffee bar at our churches so that people will hopefully think that we're cool too or hopefully they'll think that "we get it" so now we are close to being cool. Or... we need to look more like a Panera Bread of Starbuck's so that folks will come to our deal. Okay - end that rant!

Honestly, I don't understand what it means to be relevant with a story of a King who lived His whole life all for one very important moment that would require for Him to give His life away in the most painful way possible so that you and I, who weren't even born yet, would believe in love as the solution to all the darkness, death and sin in this world. 

How is that relevant?? How is the life of Jesus relevant to the world?? Do you speak about Jesus with relevancy on your mind or faith in your heart? I mean it doesn't make sense if you're spending your time fighting for relevancy for the sake of coolness. In terms of faith and mystery - now that makes me gaze at Him in wonder. It makes me grow in my faith because it takes faith to believe in His story which is what He asks of us. To trust and believe in Him just as I tell my kids when they're afraid of a thunderstorm at night, I tell them I am there and that there's nothing to be afraid of because I am watching over them throughout the night. 

We talk about it and dissect it and tell each other all about our own personal theologies - but my God, how is it that we don't stand in awe of Him and how is it that we can set aside going to worship Him together because we're too tired or need time "away"? Seriously, why do we work ourselves to death all week and then when it comes time to gather as the church body we pick that hour or two to be alone?

Because we fear togetherness.

Togetherness depletes the fuel that it takes in order for selfishness to have its way. Togetherness confronts our intentions and weeds out the impurities that we fight to hold on to. We are selfish to begin with. For myself - I think throughout the day about everything that I do and how many things I wish I could avoid(and sometimes I do) because I want for me first. That's so far from the way of the Cross. (I pray to at least remain in it's shadow, for if I can still see but just the casted shade of that instrument of death, that we call "the cross", then I know that my perimeter is still encompassed by mercy and grace and my longing to please myself will surely be put to death by the love of a King who embraced death so that I may live!)

Togetherness is not the way of our society. I recently received an invite to a church planting seminar that is called an E-Luncheon where you sit in front of computer and hold a discussion with a bunch of other pastors and eat lunch... alone. To me that says we can all be safely away from other people so that we can still be the master of our domains. We're afraid of each other. Real human contact is what God's requires of us. I want feel your laughter shake the frame of my body and then share my laughter and some farts too!! Being together because of Him. In Him. Through Him and then giving it back to Him. Otherwise there is no life. There is only death apart from Jesus.

God's plan is made up of His great sacrifice and His Church making that known to the world. Making His story of sacrifice known means that the Church lives a life of sacrifice and then the world will know who we claim. As Paul wrote it out for us "To live is Christ, to die is gain."

We, the church, are called His body by Him on purpose. He makes a definitive point with that analogy. You can't chop off someones arm and then throw it out into their backyard and tell it to rake the leaves. It ain't gonna happen!!!! And it's gross! 

The difficulty of togetherness is that it requires us to be Christlike. We have differences which means we must show respect toward one another. When we disrespect one another then we must choose to forgive for it is the only option for the follower of Jesus. We cannot demand for our needs to be met but long to meet the needs of others with great love. When we are taken advantage of we are called to be wise, kind and patient not vengeful and destructive. We are called to be humble and compassionate to a world that knows only the way of "me".

Have you placed your ways on the Cross? Or does that scare you too much. The Christian life was never intended to be a do-whatever-we-want deal. Church is not supposed to be a place that displays a smorgasbord of things so that we can pick and choose whatever works best for our schedules. I know this will upset us but when has embracing the Cross ever felt like a warm soft blanket. That's why the scriptures talk about that war within that looks like us doing the things we hate instead of doing the things that we love. 

Togetherness is essential for every and any church community. The poisons that destroy it are our own selfishness, our demands to be loved and then refuse to love, wallowing in our defeat, the mentality that the church owes me, remaining uninvolved and disconnected from the body, and refusing the disciples life.

Now what is even harder to comprehend is that when I say it like that people get upset but then you can flip open your Bible and see that I simply relayed the message that was written down already by God to us. Christians today will get mad if you tell them to read their Bible. 

I understand there's lots of pain and misery in this world. But we haven't been called out of that darkness so that we can spend the rest of our lives looking back at it when there is all this abundant life in front us just there for the taking and then we get to give it away! 

While writing this I received a phone call from a woman in a homeless shelter. She wasn't calling for food, or clothes or money but for a Christ-following community. Her words were, "I need a church community to care for my soul because when I am alone and away from the church I feel like I am dying." Can you argue against that? Maybe we need to lose some things like her in order to see the need for the church and get our eyes off of ourselves.

Togetherness is His plan. I thank God for the people in my life who were relentless at telling me to never forsake the gathering of the Church. I was able to go and worship with the "mega-church" of our city last week and share with them about serving the poor. I am first to be cynical about mega-churches but they embraced me with love and we worshipped Jesus together. It was ALL about Him. 

What else matters?

Just bein' Justin

Now this is one of the most bitchin' photos I've ever seen: Justin breathing fire at ALIVE. This is my good friend Justin who is the drummer at the Vineyard and for BETHESDA and the former drummer for The Jeffrey Allens. He's a Daddy, a husband, a co-founder of DirtyFeet Productions, a strong Advocate for Invisible Children and a typical every day fire-breather.

The Receiving End

$60.00 is about how much the bill is at the Outback Steakhouse when my family, myself included, goes there for a meal. We went this past friday night to celebrate Father's Day early.

As we were finishing up and waiting for our waitress to return we were contemplating on making a complaint because we had asked several times for some mustard for our 4 year old and we never got the mustard and so our daughter refused to eat.

So as we weighed out the worth value of the complaint our waitress came to our table smiling and still oblivious to our need for mustard. She looked at us and said, "This is so cool. Somebody just paid for your whole meal. Someone thought your family seemed so nice that they paid for your meal!!"

What do you say to that? She went on to say that the person requested that they be long gone before us knowing about our bill being covered.

Man, is it humbling to be on the receiving end and not being able to say thank you is really hard. That's how our God is though. He is always lavishing us with goodness whether we can say thank you or not.

So we didn't complain about the mustard.