Can't Sleep

I couldn't sleep last night so I got up to read and write and noticed I had an email from my sister, Molly, who is a teacher in the inner city Cleveland school system. Her email entitled "Help" is a common banner that waves over the hearts of the compassionate. I figured this is real life stuff and felt it would be good to share. Here is her email(in italics) and then my response:

Hey Scott,

Hope all is well with your darling and growing family. I was wondering if you could offer me some friendly insight. I have a student this year and I had his brother last year and my colleague had the younger brother last year (2nd grader). The 2nd grader was raped when he was 3 by a "family member" and so was his brother who is 3 years older. The family never got counseling and never charged the "family member".

The poor kids are like zombies and it is sickening. I ended up calling family services which turned out to be a big mess. Anyway the brother I have this year has his own mental/learning/social problems and I just try to be as compassionate and attentive to him as one could possibly be. The other day I asked him why he was going to the dentist (which is a very rare appt. for my students to have) so much lately and he said he had 31 cavities.

I don't sleep as it is, but with this family I have been up so much over the past 2 years wondering how a God we are supposed to live by can allow this. I did read the Shack about a month ago and felt like I could walk on water when I was done (it took me maybe 12 hours and about the same to give mom and dad a copy). Anyway I just DON'T understand how this is allowed when soooooooooo many of us are blessed and fortunate to have a job, heat, home, insurance, loved ones and then I look into his eyes only for them to not be able to look into mine, I am sure out of pure lack of any kind of esteem. Anyway I was hoping you could give me your expert advice. Hope all is well.

Love,
Molly G

[my response]

Hey sweetheart,

I'm up right now at 4:30am because I can't sleep either. It's pretty cool to check my email and see that you have written this. Maybe this is why I can't sleep tonight.

I was helping a homeless lady move out of the domestic violence shelter on Friday and into an apartment. It was the first place she has ever been able to call an actual home. She's 45 years old.

You would have thought we were moving her into a 5 star place because of how emotional she was when we got to her new "home". It was just a little efficiency in the crap part of town. But it was all hers and just hers and no one can tell her different. No one will beat her down anymore.

I hear these stories like what you are sharing and I find myself asking the same questions too. I find myself yelling within my heart at God. Wondering why. I want vengeance. I want to find these monsters that kill the hearts of children. That beat up women. That destroy a young boy's manhood.

And then I see that it becomes what I want and no longer what I can do.
It becomes what I want and I stop asking God what He wants.
It becomes what I want and I forget that He is mighty to save.

When Hurricane Katrina hit one of the most distressing things that happened was that children began suffering and dying because there was no clean water. Questions arose in the hearts of parents if they should drink the salt water(which is a sure death) to stay alive another day. Clean water was unavailable and children began to die here in America.

Then America responded with overwhelming amounts of food, water and clothes even so much that a friend of mine that went to help spent most of his time sorting through rotting food that was given but could not be obtained because there was not enough manpower to set up food lines and soup kitchens. It is one thing to send aid but the greatest source of aid is us giving ourselves. Finding and delivering resources ourselves. Extending our own hands out to the helpless instead of paying someone else to do it.

Emily Dickinson wrote this:
"If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain.
If I can cease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
up to his nest again,
I shall not live in vain."

Isaiah 58:10 says this:
"If you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday."

We are a commodity of hope. We cash in our lives so that others may live. But it is an effort that costs portions of our lives. Our agendas have to be forfeited or people will suffer. There is one thing that darkness cannot do. It cannot extinguish light. A small birthday candle in the middle of a darkened stadium cannot be overcome by the tremendous amount of darkness. It softly and calmly remains a light.

I am convinced that most of the suffering that you and I see is not just because of the "monsters" out there or because God is looking the other way but because the church in America simply does not want be inconvenienced unless some kind of trophy comes with it.

What is tragic are the things we are helpless to stop from happening. But there are injustices that we can put an end to. But we must remain lit in the midst of this darkness. The darkness looks like 31 cavities and the neglect that blankets that young man. You are the light in the dark of his day. And like Isaiah said, your light will rise in the darkness. It will.

Embrace the small things that you can do for those that suffer. Beth sets up these Pampering Nights for the abused women from the shelter. We get people who know how to professionally cut hair, do manicures and pedicures, massages, and who know how to laugh and they donate their vocations for a night. They give away what they have just for a couple of hours with no strings attached. We've seen haircuts and pedicures rescue these women from dark places. Who would've thought that nail polish would be a life preserver?

It is good that you lose sleep over these kids. It is good that your heart breaks for them. Let the helpless feelings be the motivator to not stand by but to find the small things that you can do for these kids as they are given time to be around you who shine with the love of Christ. Ask God to help you see the small things that rescue.

peace and be,
scott

Life - Good Life Stuff

I took my Luke to the barber shop for the first time. It was great life stuff. Me and my son just hanging out at the Barber Shop. He loved it! Priceless moments are just like this.